15 Years: #2 of 15

2. Perception is nearly always reality. So we are not the center of the universe, and if we worried about the amount of time people spend talking about us, I think we would all be sorely disappointed. People have better things to do. But sometimes when we come up in conversation, our coworkers, employees and bosses have a tendency to be right on the money.

If I were to learn that people are saying that I am a mean, unreasonable, fire-breathing monster, then I would have to accept there might be some truth to it. The funny thing is, try as I may, I can't change your perception of me. It's your eyes, and it's what you see. (Oh no! Do other people see the same thing, too?!) So before the paranoia fully takes root, I have to recognize that if I can't change you, then I really can only change me.

I might be hesitant at first, but I will take my post next to you in the vanity mirror, and that way I can see what you see when you evaluate me. When you tell me I behave or act a certain way, then I have to take stock. (Example: I happen to know that I can be defensive at times. Shocking, I know.)  Your vision might be closer to 20/20, whereas I might be wearing rose-colored glasses.  So taking your views into account with a grain of salt, I realize only I can change how I act or behave, thereby changing the way I am perceived by you and others.

As for the mean, fire-breathing troll? Well, don't be surprised if you suddenly see me gulping handfuls of breath mints and trying to smile more often, even if it reveals only an unsightly mouthful of yellow, pointy teeth.